2008/02/12

I had a strange dream last night. In this dream I was back in Washington and going to see Cloverfield with all of my friends. Strangely though the theater was located in the Buehler's Plaza. Brian and I were getting admitted to the theater when the Cloverfield creature actually attacked Washington. It wasn't the size of the monster in the movie though, it was just a couple stories tall. It was completely decimating the southern end of the plaza so I hid out at the Goodwill Store. I rigged some contraption up to the rear truck loading doors so that when the monster came through the front of the store the doors would open up.

So the monster destroyed the store front and I ran out the back into Dwayne the Rock Johnson. For some unknown reason he was in Washington. He confronted the monster and I ran over to the old Hardee's building. By this time the National Guard was there. Not too long after that it turned out the Rock had figured out the monsters weak spot and killed it. The Rock had been hurt a little by the creature but would be fine. At this point Brian Damian and I decide to get some beers at the bar in the plaza (which doesn't really exist) and Brian pulls two massive cold chilled beer mugs out of nowhere and gives me one. I had it to the dude to fill up but it get's the front of the mug shattered and he replaces it with an exact copy. As we're going down the stairs with our huge mugs of beer we see the Rock. All of a sudden he starts transforming into the monster since the wounds he had infected him I guess. Then I woke up.

2008/02/11

I was thinking earlier today about how many games I've played 'till the end then lost interest the best examples being Final Fantasy 7 and 8. I came to the conclusion that I would make a list of games I actually have beaten and as far as I can remember here is the list by game system:


PC:
Maniac Mansion
Maniac Mansion: Day of the Tentacle
Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge
Sam & Max Hit the Road
The Curse of Monkey Island

NES:
Contra
Double Dragon 2
Dragon Warrior IV
Kirby's Adventure
Legend of Zelda
Super Mario Bros
Super Mario Bros 2
Super Mario Bros 3

Gameboy:
Super Mario Land
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap

SNES:
Chrono Trigger
Final Fantasy III
Harvest Moon
Killer Instinct
Lufia
Megaman X
Secret of Evermore
Street Fighter II: Turbo Edition
Super Mario Bros the Lost Levels (on Super Mario All Stars)
Super Mario World
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
Super Mario RPG
Super Metroid
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

Sega:
Mortal Kombat
Mortal Kombat II
Mortal Kombat III
Sonic the Hedgehog
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Sonic the Hedgehog 3
Sonic and Knuckles
Vectorman

Dreamcast:
Soul Caliber

Gamecube:
Metroid Prime

Playstation:
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Metal Gear Solid
Resident Evil: Directors Cut
Resident Evil 2
Resident Evil 3
Silent Hill
Tekken III
Tenchu Stealth Assassins
Tomba

PlayStation 2:
Black
Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories
Megaman X8
Metal Gear Solid 2
Metal Gear Solid 3
Mortal Kombat: Armageddon
Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance
Mortal Kombat: Deception

Nintendo DS:
New Super Mario Brothers

Xbox 360:
Half Life 2
Half Life 2: Episode One
Portal
Bioshock
Halo III

2008/02/07

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.


The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.


The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.


The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.


The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the largest breasts.

2008/01/16

A man walks into a whore house and only has 5 bucks. The Madam puts him in a room with nothing except a chicken. He decides to fuck the chicken.

A week later he returns and has $50.00 dollars to spend. The Madam puts him in a room with other men drinking beer and eating pizza watching a man and a woman have sex through one way glass... He thinks to him self and says to the man next to him "this is a pretty good show".

The other man says,"Shit, this ain't nothing, last week we all saw an IDIOT FUCKING A CHICKEN"

2008/01/12

A young man goes into the Job Center in Jacksonville, Florida, and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested he goes to learn more - "Can you give me some more details about this?" he asks the guy behind the desk. The Job Center man sorts through his files & replies - "Oh yes here it is... The job entails your getting the lady patients ready for the gynecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and wash their genital regions. You then apply shaving foam and shave off all their pubic hair. Then rub in lotions so that they're ready for the gynecologist's examination. There's an annual salary of $45,000, but you'd have
to go to Oxford, Mississippi. That's about 620 miles from here." "Oh why, is that where the job's at?" "No sir - that's the end of the applicant's line!"

2008/01/09

There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked this guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It's simple. I just say I'm a lawyer." So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said no, he told her that it was probably a good thing because he had a case early in the morning. She said, "Oh!!! You're a lawyer?" He said, "Why yes I am!", so they went to his place and when they were in bed, screwing, he started to laugh to himself. When she asked what was so funny, he answered, "Well, I've only been a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I'm already screwing someone!"